shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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