I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
