Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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