So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
