the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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