He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
