it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
