well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
