Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize