He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
