Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
