Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
