My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
