I think I am morally bankrupt
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize