also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
