"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
