One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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