you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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