he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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