she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
