Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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