i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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