She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
