Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
