Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
