Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Randomize