he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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