She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
