i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
