she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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