the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
