I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
God, you're like boner-b-gone
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
