it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
