I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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