That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
