On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I have post one night stand depression
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
