You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
