like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
