I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
