I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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