Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
you never un-have a 4some
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
