Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
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