You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
