I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
