you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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