so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
