Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
