it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
smell my finger.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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