i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
