he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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