she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
