I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
