she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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