I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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