Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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