can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
