Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
