it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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