You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
