So drunk its hurt
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
