Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
