Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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