WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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