now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
